Self Inflicted Pain

Let me begin with saying that the Underground Man is one depressed guy, who really likes to inflict unnecessary pain upon himself. Maybe his depression comes from the fact he is stuck in a corner all day, or how he is so caught up in his own thoughts. Not only is Dostokevsky's book a bit difficult to read, but his main character is quite dislikable.

The frustration I feel towards the Underground Man stems from the fact that he his own anguish, and does absolutely nothing about it. The Underground Man begins the book by talking about his liver problems, and deciding not to go to a doctor out of spite, and exclaims, "my liver is bad, well then--let it get even worse" (Dotoskevsky, 3)! Is he just trying to anger the reader, or have them feel some sort of pity towards him? Well either way, it is extremely annoying.

The Underground Man also reveals he is kind of a scapegoat for others in chapter 2. He admits "that [he] was always the most to blame in everything, and what [was] most humiliating of all, to blame for no fault but [his] own but, so to say, through the laws of nature" (8). This actually made me feel a bit bad for him. I mean maybe him being blamed for everything is what caused him to become so insecure, and spiteful of everyone.

Finally, the Underground Man inflicts self-suffering by his intense distrust of humanity. He asks the question, "but, after all, here is something amazing: why does it happen that all these statisticians, sages and lovers of humanity, when they calculate human advantages invariably leave one out" (20)? Out of all his sorrow, the Underground Man brings up a good point. When he mentioned this, I realized in any situation, one person is always left out.

Even though Notes from Underground is a challenging read, and sometimes a bit irritating, I like how the Underground Man makes me engage in the text, reflect on my own life, and think about the pain I inflict on myself.